Whoaaaaaaaaa today feels like a long day indeed.
On my way home I got so tired my thoughts started to reverberate off the walls of my mind.
I got on to the bus bus bus bus bus bus bus.
Sat the elevator up up up up up up up.
Opened the door door door door door door door.
I think I seriously need to rest rest rest rest rest rest rest.
We will breakthrough through through through through through through through this weekend.
Ouch, head hurts, throbbing.
I finally read through Be A People’s Person by John Maxwell. Ha ha it was a gift from Yassy quite awhile back. Thanks Yassy! I felt my mindset changing. I felt encouraged to change.
In God there is never a moment of hopelessness. There is always an answer and solution to breakthrough. Our God has enabled us to overcome.
About army, LAB is finally over for us. I hope there is no more OT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH ARMY. MING JIAN IS GOING INTO THE ARMY. Ha ha how is C10 going to be with everyone being gone from Monday to Friday? We need a team in C1!
Many ideas floating in my head and spirit. Time to put it down on pen and paper. God will speak, He will guide me.
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk rejection.
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
Only a person who takes risks is free.
- Ann Landers
1/2 year soldier.
September 19, 2009
I’ve been in army for almost half a year now! I might have to be re-vocated in a few months time because they’re outsourcing my job to engineers now. I pray I’m still 8-5 after this. God’s still showing many truths from just surviving in the army environment.
Nowadays, there are so many thoughts swimming around my head. Wish I could just print them out of my head. Ha ha ha. No where to start, let’s just pull out the oldest “I should blog about this” thought that I have.
My WO was sharing how he loved being a PC and didn’t enjoy his work as much now being promoted. Rising up the ranks gave him less pleasure but more stress. I probably felt the same way in Scouting. That’s why I hid in BMT, I hid in OETI. I think I’m a pretty loud timer, but I hid it. I knew nothing stood at the end of being recognized here. No 3SG or 2LT rank would satisfy me. Politics are tiring. Fighting people is the most draining thing. Thank God I’m where I am today instead. Rising up in an organisation that you don’t believe in will only leave you tired and disillusioned.
Things are different in HOGC. My role model Pastors are exemplary in showing us a great place with no politics, and where rising up is so easy - in the love and encouragement given to us. Pastors always share how they love preaching to us because we’re the most responsive and best-est people to preach to. Pastors also loved knowing every single one of us. Back in Henderson and FTMS Pastors knew almost EVERY single person and their names. However, awhile back Pastors shared that even though they loved doing that the most they might have to spend more time flying around from now on. It’s also harder to know all 1000 of us now. Pastors still have the same love for people and genuinely want to know every single one of them. Still, they don’t look back in regret and yearning for the past.
If the church is healthy, it will grow. If an organisation is healthy, it will grow.
In order to grow sometimes we sometimes give up what we like doing more, in exchange for a job that is more macro-minded - as Pastor once shared with me, to have a macro picture and handling of our teams is important to grow. If we want to grow, we need to teach what we’re doing now to others, so that we’re freed up to handle greater things.
This hardly works in the army because not everyone believes in the system and organisation. One does what he likes, because the life and death of the organisation does not bother or prick their conscience.
I love what I’m doing now… But I need to start raising leaders so that we can all grow even more. I need to have more anointing so that the people will grow too! Members will become Team Leaders. Team Leaders will become Connect Group Leaders. And people will grow, grow, and grow!
God is my teacher. Army is the lesson.
Jars of Clay - The Eleventh Hour
August 22, 2009
Jars of Clay - The Eleventh Hour
trace the shape of my heart
’til it becomes more familiar to Your eyes
i’ve been lost without You
cold without Your love
it’s taken days and nights to make me realize
rescue me from hangin’ on this line
i won’t give up on giving You
the chance to blow my mind
let the eleventh hour quickly pass me by
i’ll find You when i think i’m out of time
take the place of my heart
’til i become a stranger to my life
i’ve been down without You
wrong without Your love
in time will i be what You’re thinking of?
Stand.
July 28, 2009
What happens when you feel that you are at your threshold, the tipping point, where any second you feel like breaking?
When your efforts have yet to show any result…
When the things you do just don’t seem right… Or they may even feel right but yet not be…
Don’t lose heart.
In the past, it was fighting PO. It’s easy fighting by myself. There’s no such thing as consequence too big or price too high. If I wanted to beat it, I could. There was no need for wisdom or planning - winning was a matter of sheer will. If my will was stronger than my mum’s, I won. I guess that’s why I didn’t mind being locked out of the house, or having my things confiscated… It was my battle, my fight, and no one else would get hurt even if I lost it all. I could fail my studies all I want, it’s my future to behold. It’s easy being a lone warrior. It’s easy to be a renegade.
Not anymore.
Now, when I stand before God, I stand for more than one person. My actions now affect them. I live for them now. I’m learning how to make the unpopular decisions. I’m learning how to accept the consequences of my words and actions. What happens when one of the guys makes the call to challenge his PO after I talk to him? His battle becomes mine as well. It’s his battle for sure, but I’m in it. Perhaps that’s why I was never a fan of sports, I couldn’t understand the idea of being totally in the game even though I’m not there.
Things change.
Pastor and Charleston went for the Real Man conference in Aussie. Sometimes, I wonder what it takes to be a real man. I think I have a glimpse now… Responsibility - Living for your family, and not just yourself. Everything has to hold in a balance, your balance. God’s balance.
I cannot afford to lose heart. I cannot afford to lose purity. I cannot afford to lose focus.
The weekend has been a crazy one. So many things happened, I was tested, and so were the guys. Some of them did well, some of them not so. I did well in some, not so in some as well. We don’t choose our challenges… They just come. When they do, and you’re under immense pressure, what do you do? Do you break? Do you run? Do you fight it?
Frankly, the call is ours to make. How we get to our destination is up to us. We just need to get there. It’s easy getting there yourself, it’s harder bringing everyone along with you. Harder, but not impossible.
Learning to be like a Shepherd.
We can only breakthrough, there’s no other option.
I used to be self-absorbed in my thinking. Then I shut off my inner thoughts because it was doing me harm. Now I’ll need to harness that thinking and keep it in control. To be intellectual yet spiritual. I need to start thinking again, because if I don’t, others won’t grow. It’s like a chinese gung-fu movie where you pick up a weapon that needs to be tamed - failure to do so will only bring disaster.
My insides have changed, and so has my writing.
Pastor Lia’s sermon came with divine timing - for everyone. If you were not there, you should have been - but that’s another story for me to explain in my thoughts to myself.
So this is me, working on my brain and spirituality at 3.40am in the morning. Till next time… More insight. Watch; pray.
This is me, attempting to find myself. This is me, for the first time, touching my destiny so clearly. This is me, Changing myself before I get to Change my world. This is me, living for You, and you. I haven’t lived life until now, and this writing is just a reminder to me:
I stand for a generation to come.
The Fellowship of the Unashamed by Dr. Bob Moorehead
July 27, 2009
I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit
Power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has
been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow
down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense,
and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight
walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions,
mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised,
regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my
way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the
presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the
pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I’ve preached up, prayed
up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a
disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.
And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear for “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes..” (Romans 1:16)
Twitter has killed blogging. Everything is so bite-sized, and fast. Micro-blogging is the new in thing. It is a representation of the media age that MTV youth embrace. I’ve been tweeting so much that I’m now at a lost for words after losing the word cap.
Army has been really fast-paced as well. Time passes fast when you have fun. I’m surrounded by relatively nice and an environment with little politics. I call this the cool-down zone, when God relaxes you in the areas of school/work/army while He pushes you to the boundaries in Leading and seeking Him.
When you’re not in the cool-down zone, you’re in the heated-up zone. That’s when God throws you into a place beyond your control - like Tekong. Your convictions are tested, your character is forged as well.
Recognize the seasons, do the right thing. The hardest thing is growing bigger than yourself.
Thoughts are slowly creeping in and around my head - it’s time to do some mind-keeping again. Maybe, it’s just because I’m getting older.
See. My sentences are appearing in short-bursts. I shall be coherent again. Can’t wait for my mind to birth an idea for IMAGINE 2009.
1021
July 7, 2009
We brokethrough a 1000!!!
This was beyond my dreams, to be part of something so big. It’s still so awesome that sometimes I don’t even know how privileged I am… Keep running the race with Pastors and Leaders! (:
Ha ha when I think of the stayovers over the past week I keep laughing and smiling to myself. They’re just so funny…
I don’t get the feeling of leading the lost… I see in the future them rising up to run this race beside me. Leaders, worshippers, all sorts of people!
Going to miss Klemon when he enters the army.
I shall learn the value of hardwork this week.
Also, Ming Li is coming back to Singapore in 2 days! Wonder how ang-mog-nized my sister is now!
